Lone Raindrops

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Last Monday I moved house again. I have lost count of how many times I’ve moved; of how many times I’ve flicked through old pages holding encounters, woes, stories only I know. It has been 13 days since I wrote in my journal. The turquoise book seemed buried too deep and it felt as though I had too much to write yet I was emptied of writing. Somehow I could not bare the task of writing my thoughts, emotions and events, it all appeared far too heavy and I needed rest from constructing sentences out of pain that produced joy.

Sometimes we need to empty ourselves. We need to let ourselves breathe; let ourselves be still; and let ourselves ponder.

Circumstances arise when we need them and God knows what we need and when we need it most. Our challenges are to bring us closer to accomplishing great things. They provide us with moments to acknowledge our blessings and they are opportunities to be stronger, braver, and more resilient time and time again. Through each challenge we are prepared for the next, we gain more compassion or patience or self-belief. We build upon our foundations with each difficult experience, layering comprehension of this earth life.

‘Imagine for a moment that you are a drop of water. As it happens, you are a very unique little drop – beautifully shaped, with only a cute little distortion in the way you reflect the light. People praise your beauty, and in time you come to believe that you are special.

But as time goes on, you become lonely. You long for the companionship of an other – another drop of water who will love you as you love it and help you feel less alone. You find that other, or you don’t; you fall in love, or you don’t.

And then one day it starts to rain. Seven billion drops of rain fall in a single afternoon and you are no longer alone. Briefly, you touch mitochondria with a single raindrop and before you know it, two have become one. You are still alone, but you are larger than before. With each drop of water you merge with, your entire being expands, until all seven billion drops become one ocean.

And you are still alone. And all is well.’

{Michael Neill, The Space Within -Finding Your Way Back Home}

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One of Those Places

I sat in meditation
Pebbles nibbled my flesh
Warm winds whipped around me
At last the sun kissed bare skin,

Two boys frolicked in the shallows
Safe from shadows overcast by clouds
So many years ago on this same beach
My sister and I had rolled in mud,

By the sea I remember
Where I came from
Long days laughing in water
Some kind of magic floating in the air,

One of those places again
Clouds stand still
Birds swoop and dive
Particles shimmer, time pauses
Here I can stay forever
Cocooned in paradise on earth.

Who are You?

We have to know what we are when we are nothing. When there are so many things we think we need, endless lists of feelings, objects, experiences, people, expecting we will be satisfied in our gains. Satisfaction does not come from these unattainable external influences that we can waste a life-time searching for, unconsciously attempting to fill an echoing void within our beings.

Who are you? Without everything that you associate yourself with? Who are you without the hobbies, the job, the friends, the family, the home? Are you willing to discover what is underneath the flesh and bones? Can you uncover layers influenced by a mis-directed society and dissect the parts that are untrue?

Discard everything, and start again. End this way of living that is filled with dead-ends or lost dreams and start again. We do not run out of chances to start over and the only way to start over is to really know who you are. When you are nothing. You are a unique special human being living on this earth for a purpose only you can fulfil.

And when you love, dream, hope, cry, loose, struggle, believe and keep on pushing forward knowing that there is more to come you make it out on the other side, knowing, this is who I am, without any solid definition because you are free.

Happiness is dependant only on state of mind, on peace of mind. If you’re at peace you withstand all of life’s hurricanes. Find that peace, use your time wisely to go in search of those things that make your soul feel wholesome and your spirit uplifted so when winds blow and darkness comes knocking you know how to re-gain your peace, you know who you are and you know where you’re going. Look for the answers and they will find you when the time is right. But never stop looking, never stop wanting to know more, and never assume you know everything. The answers are out there drifting upon the winds waiting you to reach out and catch them with open palms. Keep reaching, keep looking up at the stars wondering where you came from, keep walking down empty streets, keep listening to the silence of the trees and trickling rivers, keep speaking to full moons, and keep questioning why you are here. You are not alone, and you are here for a reason.