In my first lesson at church of Gospel Principles we were asked ‘why are you at church today? What was the reason you got out of bed early on a Sunday morning and travelled to this chapel? Why are you here?’ My response was that I had finally discovered what that burning sensation in my chest was. To me, this warmth was pure love. It made me feel comforted, wholesome, and as though I was not alone in the world.
I believed in doing good deeds, the law of attraction, and the power of the human mind in its’ capabilities of controlling our own worlds or lives. I knew there was a oneness that connected all human beings and thought of this as a united consciousness. I recognised it as the power of the universe and gave thanks to the universe or spoke with the universe concerning my worries. There were always trails of events, people, places, that happened in such perfect timing not to be coincidental as if I was on a pathway already mapped out but not knowing the direction. Never did I think that this universe, this consciousness, was overlooked by a man. By a man who I would learn to be my Father, who I would grow to love more than anything else in this world. A man who created me, and who created the earth, and who created a divine plan so that I could live for eternity in his heavenly kingdom nestled beside parallel universes and multiple dimensions of no boundaries where my potential would explode into greatness beyond comprehension so that one day I would be the mother and creator of my own world. I chose this life, I chose my experiences and I create all that I am. But I am not in absolute control. I am in control of my choices, which lead to consequences. And now I have learned truthfully that by using all of my might and willpower to choose the positive, the safe, the pure, the meaningful, and the resistance towards mainstream culture, there will be rewards. And that burning in my chest is one of them. Rewards beyond this material dimension that allow your character to develop and your spirit to rejoice. Rewards that push you onwards, that remind you that you are strong enough to carry on through the struggles, and that in all of the suffering on the earth, there is hope that we are more than flesh, blood and death.
I felt the darkness, and I felt it alone. But it was all so that I would know the magnificent light that was waiting for me at the other end.