A couple of months ago I passed two Mormon missionaries in the street. As they allowed me to pass they greeted me and a conversation followed about the meaning of life, this eternal searching, journey for truth and the warm feeling we feel in our hearts. I gave them my phone number intrigued to investigate their beliefs, that in a brief encounter resonated with my own. Weeks passed by entwined with long text messages between us before we met, between trees huddling around a stretching river bed holding rusted fishing boats we sat upon an old wall as one of the missionaries told me his stories of revelation and God’s beautiful plan. Sitting with them, my heart glowed and my mind ceased to think so that I could barely interact with conversation. I was on a natural high lifted by the words these young men spoke. We met again on a few occasions as they taught me the views and ideals of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and every word they said I questioned and analysed and tore apart to prove wrong yet they answered all interrogations immediately from the heart because this book they lived by was their only truth.
These two missionaries had left their homes behind for two years to share their gospel, to spread this feeling that they had felt, to welcome those who were mis-guided and had lost their way on this earth that is surrounded by suffering and cruelty. In all of the darkness they lived to spread light and they lived to help others find the light. Some people wonder why we are here; why we are alive; what we are all doing on this planet. We question and we search for truth to find us because we know there is more to life than just living, through our thoughts that take us to other places, other worlds that only we know exist.
If we believe something with our entire being it will be true. I met the two Mormon missionaries at their church one Sunday morning and was greeted by kind women and men who later shared testimonies on how they knew that their beliefs were true. Week after week I grew to understand each procedure, how to read the bible, and why these people were here. On that Sunday every week was a place of peace, a place of reflection on how they acted during the week and how to better themselves, a place where there was always a friend, a place where everyone listened and everyone accepted, a place to ask for help for those in need, a place to thank God that they were alive and a place to learn all the small self improvements to make the world a positive place. The Mormons were not perfect and they admitted this; but what really mattered was that they were trying their utmost best to live sacredly and lovingly for God, for Jesus Christ and for their children. Each of them had hurdles and each of them were tested and tested and struggled through their challenges but God always showed up.
I could not commit myself to have faith in their ways, to study the bible and the Book of Mormon and cut off all other external inspiration. For a short duration I delved into their books and I prayed and sang and spoke to God like a friend. Our relationship seemed too forced, I became too reliant on God rather than looking to myself for answers as if I was allowing God to take control over my own direction rather than taking control myself. Before I met the missionaries I had already quit caffeine, drugs, alcohol, smoking, worthless relationships, and self-disrespect and all of their beliefs appeared to coincide with my own. I felt that deep inner peace, I didn’t have to think when I spoke to the Mormons because the words simply flowed straight from my heart. It wasn’t necessary for my brain to intervene with our conversations. As I prayed I pleaded with God to tell me if these books I held in my palms were true. My hands began to tingle and the warm glow blossomed from my ribcage but still I am not convinced. Still I fall guilty of contemplating whether or not this is my mind playing tricks on me, deceiving me into this belief for my own comfort. I have faith in God, I have faith in myself, but the Book of Mormon and the Bible I am not so sure. Dedicating my time to teachings already inscribed constricted my own exploration and my personal endeavours in solving mysteries of the human condition and expressing my deepest creativity.
Fundamentally love is the purpose. Love is the reason for this religion and all religions and that is the most important part to be realised. How can we commit ourselves to values and beliefs we trust in and remain undivided from the rest of humanity and from all other religions that also live to preach love? In religions we are divided, outside of religions we are divided, but the key to our success is to become one, united race. United in understanding, self-awareness, positivity, freedom from manipulation, desire for peace, and loving one another as family. In an ideal world we would all care, but for now I will continue to love, continue to care and continue to work as much as possible to change that which is already in motion. Revolution is on the horizon.